Between a simply insane weekend last weekend and being sick this weekend I have nothing in reserve to publish this week. I had gotten into a good schedule of having my posts written a week in advance. It was glorious, but now I'm finding myself playing catch up. I was scrambling to figure out what to write about when it hit me. I haven't given an Assassin/Ninja Training Update in quite a while. I actually have a lot to update on that!
Due to a very unexpected and drawn out process of injuring both my hands and waiting for them to heal properly, I haven't been doing any exercises. It has been a big lesson in patience, taking care of myself, and respecting my personal limits. Really what happened was I had a previous injury in my left hand that had healed back wrong. While that hand was reinjured so it could heal back the right way, I managed to overcompensate for it with my right hand. As a result I injured my right hand in just the same way my left hand was injured. I was so angry with myself. I had to take a long break from video games. My fine motor skills were laughable. I felt like I had unskilled clubs on the ends of my arms instead of hands. I had to ask the boys for help at work with the heavy stuff and I couldn't drive either of the trucks because that required me having to literally climb into the truck cab, which put too much strain on my hands. It has been rough but I've learned a valuable lesson and I don't plan on making that mistake again.
I have continued my plan of keeping water as my main drink. I actually counted up the time since I stopped drinking pop and I was shocked. I stopped drinking pop around 5 months ago! The crazy thing is I don't miss it. Both of my roommates still regularly drink it and I am not even tempted. I look at it and don't see it as appetizing at all. Drinking water makes me feel amazing! It's like I feel cleaner on the inside. I have more energy and that sluggish, blah feeling is gone.
On top of continuing to drink water, I have added a number of things. I now have an accountability partner. This have been so helpful. Sometimes you just don't feel like doing the work and you're okay with letting yourself down. But letting someone else down is a different matter. The accountability has majorly helped in building habits. You get used to doing healthy things and before you know it, you've created a good habit. Right now I'm just going over basic things. Most of my life I have done a horrible job at taking care of myself. My basic check in things with my partner are: Eating 3 meals a day, drinking 50 oz of water, getting at least 7 hours of sleep, not stressing my injured hands, and keeping my room organized. That last one sounds really random, but it's amazing how much having a clean and organized room helps with my mental health. Visual noise and clutter don't help anxiety.
The accountability is set up in report form. I write out daily reports. Honestly, just recording my daily progress is helpful and keeps me aware of my daily choices. I report on the items I listed above, as well as adding how I felt that day and what my big picture circumstances were that day. It gives some helpful context. As someone with an anxiety disorder, recording the big picture circumstances of my day helps me see patterns, identify triggers, and just be more aware of how stressors affect my health. I've learned so much about myself and my health through this process!
As far as results go, I don't own a scale so I can't give an actual weight loss amount. I can say that I need a new belt. I started out only being able to reach the first hole on my current belt. Now I am on the farthest hole and still shrinking. I have gone down a shirt size and two jeans sizes. I have learned how important taking care of myself physically is to my mental health. The two cannot be separated. Just working on physical health greatly improves my mental health. With better mental health I'm better equipped to make healthy decisions. It's become an awesome upward spiral. That's a real thing!
If you have PTSD, some other anxiety disorder, or any mental disorder try making healthy decisions for your body. I know. I rolled my eyes at that advice so many times in the past. But now that I'm actually doing it and reaping the benefits, I must say it is definitely worth it! It really works! Just start small. Do you eat 3 meals a day? Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep? Wherever you find yourself there's a small step you can take towards better health. Don't try to do it all at once. That rarely ever works. Have patience and grace for yourself. Find one thing you can stick with and do it daily. Finding an accountability partner really helps too. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and don't give up when you fall down. Just get back up. There are no penalties for falling unless you don't get back up.
That's all I have for now. Thanks for reading!
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-Jerelle
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Friday, November 7, 2014
Roasted Twizzlers And Other Adventures
So much has happened since my last post! I feel like my brain is only now catching up. You know a lot of changes have taken place in your life really quickly when you go to your fairly new job and it's the most familiar thing in your day. I can say that I am doing quite amazing! There's been several changes, some of which I will talk about here and some that I won't, but all of them are good changes. It's been a crazy awesome adventure!
First of all, I've finally bucked under the iron-fisted intolerance against country music in my apartment. I have one roommate that dislikes the country and music in general and the other hates country music with a boiling passion. Here I am, the country girl who grew up on a farm and loved it. I'd noticed that I always listened to a country radio station when I visited my hometown. But I stopped listening to it over the past 3 years living in the city. When I cried on the way back to the city after visiting my old hometown is when I decided: "The heck with this! I'm going to listen to it!" It was like reclaiming territory that used to bring painful memories of my past. *cues video game victory music* Now it just brings up images of the beautiful mountains in my hometown and makes me feel peaceful. It makes me feel closer to home. This doesn't mean that I only listen to country music. My taste in music is ridiculously varied.
This past weekend I moved apartments. I'm in the same area. My new apartment is literally down the road from my old one. It's confusing when I come home from work because the route is so familiar. I haven't accidentally gone to the wrong place yet though. Had some close calls. The new place is smaller and I love that about it! It's interesting, but a smaller place helps with my anxiety. The city chafes against my anxiety so anything that makes my environment more simple serves to counteract that effect. I feel like I can breath in this place.
On the Assassin Training front, I have made great progress! After some trouble with sugar withdraws (my sugar intake was ridiculous when it came to drinks) I have arrived at my goal of drinking just water! Anything else is every great once in a while. Water is now my go to drink. I feel fantastic! Not just because I reached a goal, I physically feel great! Plus, an added bonus is I'm still steadily losing weight. The other morning I reached the 5th hole in my belt. I used to only be able to reach the 1st! I don't own a scale and I don't plan to own a scale. It helps keep my focus on my health instead of obsessing about weight.
If you're wondering about this post's title, yes, I did roast some Twizzlers. They were surprisingly delicious!
I've started a 2nd job doing childcare at my church during our freedom and recovery ministry nights. Working with children is a challenge for me. Usually I attend a group during these nights, but it looks like Jesus has a class just for me. It's called childcare. It's challenging, stretching, healing, and so much fun. My anxiety immediately jumps when I'm around children. They're so innocent and vulnerable. So trusting. They always pull me out of my shell, whether I want to be out of my shell or not. Slowly, Jesus is reminding me how to just simply trust, love, and be myself. I usually start out intensely uncomfortable and anxious and eventually I'm sitting down playing with the kids, remembering how to let go and be a kid myself. I truly believe being in touch in your inner kid is very spiritually healthy. It reminds us that we aren't in control, we're totally dependent on a Daddy who loves us more than we can possibly imagine.
There were many fun adventures hanging out with those little ones! Two of them decided they wanted to bond with me. So they threw me in jail. I tried to talk my way out of it. I asked passing kids if they would bail me out or bust me out. One kid was tempted, but then just smiled at me and walked away. I was all like "I thought we were tight!" lol. I argued that they didn't read me my Miranda Rights. Of course that didn't work. Then I got creative. I glanced at my prison guards and said: "Oh, it looks like you accidentally built my cell out of chocolate" and I ate my way out of jail. I was re-arrested about 3 steps from my cell. After a few more escape attempts I finally turned to one of them and asked, "What was my crime?" The response: "You bit a dragon!" . . . . . . My bad! Lol. After that clarification they pulled the whole good cop bad cop routine on me. These kids are awesome!
I have so many fun stories from childcare! I want to write about all of them, but that would make my post really really long and it's already long. I will mention that there was a little girl who decided that her baby doll's name was "Cereal." This kid is going places. I could feel my time with these kids healing my heart. I came out of my shell and actually got comfortable. I was safe and they were safe. They trusted me and felt safe with me and I started accepting that. My lap became a popular seat during that Veggie Tales movie we watched and I started to learn that it's okay to hold them. They're safe with me. I've been afraid around children for years because I blamed myself for the abuse in my past. I thought that if I was around them, I would somehow infect them with whatever badness was inside me that caused my hurt. On a mind level, I know that's not true. But sometimes it takes more than head knowledge to reach those hurt places in the heart. So many times Jesus heals people with people.
And that's simply beautiful.
First of all, I've finally bucked under the iron-fisted intolerance against country music in my apartment. I have one roommate that dislikes the country and music in general and the other hates country music with a boiling passion. Here I am, the country girl who grew up on a farm and loved it. I'd noticed that I always listened to a country radio station when I visited my hometown. But I stopped listening to it over the past 3 years living in the city. When I cried on the way back to the city after visiting my old hometown is when I decided: "The heck with this! I'm going to listen to it!" It was like reclaiming territory that used to bring painful memories of my past. *cues video game victory music* Now it just brings up images of the beautiful mountains in my hometown and makes me feel peaceful. It makes me feel closer to home. This doesn't mean that I only listen to country music. My taste in music is ridiculously varied.
This past weekend I moved apartments. I'm in the same area. My new apartment is literally down the road from my old one. It's confusing when I come home from work because the route is so familiar. I haven't accidentally gone to the wrong place yet though. Had some close calls. The new place is smaller and I love that about it! It's interesting, but a smaller place helps with my anxiety. The city chafes against my anxiety so anything that makes my environment more simple serves to counteract that effect. I feel like I can breath in this place.
On the Assassin Training front, I have made great progress! After some trouble with sugar withdraws (my sugar intake was ridiculous when it came to drinks) I have arrived at my goal of drinking just water! Anything else is every great once in a while. Water is now my go to drink. I feel fantastic! Not just because I reached a goal, I physically feel great! Plus, an added bonus is I'm still steadily losing weight. The other morning I reached the 5th hole in my belt. I used to only be able to reach the 1st! I don't own a scale and I don't plan to own a scale. It helps keep my focus on my health instead of obsessing about weight.
If you're wondering about this post's title, yes, I did roast some Twizzlers. They were surprisingly delicious!
I've started a 2nd job doing childcare at my church during our freedom and recovery ministry nights. Working with children is a challenge for me. Usually I attend a group during these nights, but it looks like Jesus has a class just for me. It's called childcare. It's challenging, stretching, healing, and so much fun. My anxiety immediately jumps when I'm around children. They're so innocent and vulnerable. So trusting. They always pull me out of my shell, whether I want to be out of my shell or not. Slowly, Jesus is reminding me how to just simply trust, love, and be myself. I usually start out intensely uncomfortable and anxious and eventually I'm sitting down playing with the kids, remembering how to let go and be a kid myself. I truly believe being in touch in your inner kid is very spiritually healthy. It reminds us that we aren't in control, we're totally dependent on a Daddy who loves us more than we can possibly imagine.
There were many fun adventures hanging out with those little ones! Two of them decided they wanted to bond with me. So they threw me in jail. I tried to talk my way out of it. I asked passing kids if they would bail me out or bust me out. One kid was tempted, but then just smiled at me and walked away. I was all like "I thought we were tight!" lol. I argued that they didn't read me my Miranda Rights. Of course that didn't work. Then I got creative. I glanced at my prison guards and said: "Oh, it looks like you accidentally built my cell out of chocolate" and I ate my way out of jail. I was re-arrested about 3 steps from my cell. After a few more escape attempts I finally turned to one of them and asked, "What was my crime?" The response: "You bit a dragon!" . . . . . . My bad! Lol. After that clarification they pulled the whole good cop bad cop routine on me. These kids are awesome!
I have so many fun stories from childcare! I want to write about all of them, but that would make my post really really long and it's already long. I will mention that there was a little girl who decided that her baby doll's name was "Cereal." This kid is going places. I could feel my time with these kids healing my heart. I came out of my shell and actually got comfortable. I was safe and they were safe. They trusted me and felt safe with me and I started accepting that. My lap became a popular seat during that Veggie Tales movie we watched and I started to learn that it's okay to hold them. They're safe with me. I've been afraid around children for years because I blamed myself for the abuse in my past. I thought that if I was around them, I would somehow infect them with whatever badness was inside me that caused my hurt. On a mind level, I know that's not true. But sometimes it takes more than head knowledge to reach those hurt places in the heart. So many times Jesus heals people with people.
And that's simply beautiful.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Assassin Training Update
It's been a while since I gave an update about my assassin training. I've been focusing mainly on diet change. According to Nerd Fitness, your diet accounts for 80% of your success or failure. Since I once lost 40 pounds on diet change alone, I readily accept that. I started with cutting out soda. Originally, I stopped drinking soda for a time to get caffeine out of my system. My anxiety has made a move towards more generalized anxiety, rather than anxiety triggered from specific fears. It crept up on me slowly and, at first, I didn't know what was wrong with me. Now that I know that I get anxious in general now, I can take steps to combat it. Though it may feel like the sky is falling, it doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong. Equipped with that knowledge I tackled caffeine out of my diet. It was unnecessary fuel on the fire and once it left my system I started to calm down more quickly with my self reminders that everything is okay. Then something unexpected happened.
I hadn't decided to quit drinking soda for good. It was a step to take it out of my system for the time being until I improved. But after awhile I noticed that I had gone for about 2 weeks without drinking soda regularly. I wasn't dying for a coke. This was a good sign and I decided to use the momentum I had to just say goodbye to soda as a regular daily drink choice. I have now lost count of how many weeks it has been. I've only had a drink of soda rarely, and when I did it was caffeine free Sprite or 7 Up. I went from drinking multiple sodas a day to having about 2 in, I would guess the last month or 2. It feels great to have such a big step tackled already! It's really encouraging!
Something unexpected happened over the past few weeks though. At first I thought it was just wishful thinking on my part. But a week ago I got proof. I've lost 10 pounds! I thought my clothes felt a bit on the big side. I had taken note that I could tighten my belt further. Now I need my belt if I want to walk without holding my jeans up with one hand. It's a great feeling! I have tried to lose weight for years, ever since my thyroid went nuts back in 2010 and I gained 70 pounds in 2 months. Wow, that was a terrifying time. It seemed that no matter what I did, diet and exercise-wise, my newly acquired weight would not budge. And now I've dropped 10 pounds easily!
My newest diet change challenge is to move to drinking water as my main drink. I've already gotten a beautiful start on that. I also have extra motivation. My workplace has been shifting out polo shirts in our uniform and shifting in company T-shirts. There is a bit of a size difference. For example, a large polo shirt is the same size as an XLarge T-shirt. I did not know this when I picked up my shirts. So my new work shirts are a whole size smaller than the size I had been wearing. The amazing thing is, I just fit into it. It's slightly on the small side for my taste. I gravitate more towards extra room in my T-shirts, but it fits. Now I just gotta make sure I don't gain the weight back, and instead continue to lose weight. My new shirts will be a good measurement of that. I don't own a scale, unless you count my Wii Fit Balance Board. I found out I lost 10 pounds stepping onto my aunt's scale. It gave my weight in kilograms, which was annoying. But hey, I finally got to use that unit converter tool on my phone lol.
I hope to phase in my exercises again soon. I unfortunately overestimated myself while lifting a heavy crate. As a result a threw my back out a little bit again. I knew as soon as I straightened up that something was wrong. Back to the chiropractor. I didn't throw it out nearly as badly as I have in the past. I should be back in action again soon. I'm still on the quests of daily 10 minute walks and beginner body weight strength training on alternate days.
I will shout out to a friend, you know who you are. Thank you for sharing that quote from your pastor. Thank you for being an inspiration through your own health and fitness work. When I have those weak moments, I think of you sticking to your plan, and it helps me keep going. It's helps to know someone else is working hard to achieve a similar goal. Thanks for being an inspiration and encouragement. I wouldn't have made it this far if Jesus had not used you to get me really thinking about my health and inspired to do something about it. So thank you. :)
That's all for this post! Thanks for reading!
I hadn't decided to quit drinking soda for good. It was a step to take it out of my system for the time being until I improved. But after awhile I noticed that I had gone for about 2 weeks without drinking soda regularly. I wasn't dying for a coke. This was a good sign and I decided to use the momentum I had to just say goodbye to soda as a regular daily drink choice. I have now lost count of how many weeks it has been. I've only had a drink of soda rarely, and when I did it was caffeine free Sprite or 7 Up. I went from drinking multiple sodas a day to having about 2 in, I would guess the last month or 2. It feels great to have such a big step tackled already! It's really encouraging!
Something unexpected happened over the past few weeks though. At first I thought it was just wishful thinking on my part. But a week ago I got proof. I've lost 10 pounds! I thought my clothes felt a bit on the big side. I had taken note that I could tighten my belt further. Now I need my belt if I want to walk without holding my jeans up with one hand. It's a great feeling! I have tried to lose weight for years, ever since my thyroid went nuts back in 2010 and I gained 70 pounds in 2 months. Wow, that was a terrifying time. It seemed that no matter what I did, diet and exercise-wise, my newly acquired weight would not budge. And now I've dropped 10 pounds easily!
My newest diet change challenge is to move to drinking water as my main drink. I've already gotten a beautiful start on that. I also have extra motivation. My workplace has been shifting out polo shirts in our uniform and shifting in company T-shirts. There is a bit of a size difference. For example, a large polo shirt is the same size as an XLarge T-shirt. I did not know this when I picked up my shirts. So my new work shirts are a whole size smaller than the size I had been wearing. The amazing thing is, I just fit into it. It's slightly on the small side for my taste. I gravitate more towards extra room in my T-shirts, but it fits. Now I just gotta make sure I don't gain the weight back, and instead continue to lose weight. My new shirts will be a good measurement of that. I don't own a scale, unless you count my Wii Fit Balance Board. I found out I lost 10 pounds stepping onto my aunt's scale. It gave my weight in kilograms, which was annoying. But hey, I finally got to use that unit converter tool on my phone lol.
I hope to phase in my exercises again soon. I unfortunately overestimated myself while lifting a heavy crate. As a result a threw my back out a little bit again. I knew as soon as I straightened up that something was wrong. Back to the chiropractor. I didn't throw it out nearly as badly as I have in the past. I should be back in action again soon. I'm still on the quests of daily 10 minute walks and beginner body weight strength training on alternate days.
I will shout out to a friend, you know who you are. Thank you for sharing that quote from your pastor. Thank you for being an inspiration through your own health and fitness work. When I have those weak moments, I think of you sticking to your plan, and it helps me keep going. It's helps to know someone else is working hard to achieve a similar goal. Thanks for being an inspiration and encouragement. I wouldn't have made it this far if Jesus had not used you to get me really thinking about my health and inspired to do something about it. So thank you. :)
That's all for this post! Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Assassin Training
A good friend of mine shared a quote from his pastor on one of his podcasts. The quote was: "Anything God does spiritually through you happens through your body. Why would you not want to take care of it?" It really reached out and grabbed my attention. I had never thought about it that way before. I am not really anywhere near what would be considered fit or healthy. I've fought with weight gain and health problems. I'm a woman so of course this whole area is a constant emotional battle. But my friend also had another good point. We as a society place so much emphasis on looks and not so much on health. That made me realize that I also have approached this whole health and fitness issue from a looks perspective. Hearing his thoughts on the subject was like a breath of fresh air. Looks are here today and gone tomorrow. Life is so short. Why be so concerned with what other people think? What's really important is my health and relationship with God. I never want my choices and habits to stand in the way of my relationship with God.
So what did I do. Thinking the right thoughts is only part of the battle. I can think all day but it really comes down to what am I going to do about it. I didn't let it stop with just thoughts this time. I took action. I found a little something online called Nerd Fitness. Being the gamer and nerd that I am, the whole concept of relating fitness to leveling up your life and turning life into a big video game really appealed to me. I took the step and signed up. I get daily emails full of useful information, encouragement, and quests. I have now completed several quests and I really like this whole system. I'm feeling hopeful about my health and fitness for the first time in a long time. I'm taking it one day at a time, one quest at a time. I actually did my first strength training workout yesterday. I'm really feeling it today. In my enthusiasm I overdid it. My muscles are so sore today that when I got to the bottom step of my stairs, I looked up and wondered how I was going to get to the top lol. Despite that, I'm not discouraged. I'm encouraged by my determination that caused me to overdo it. If I can push through a workout and accidentally do too much, it's not a stretch to believe that I can actually do this. I made a mistake, but now I'm better informed and therefore better prepared for next time.
Nerd Fitness, in the mission to turn life and especially fitness into a big video game, involves choosing your race and class, just like in an RPG. Okay, so race isn't something you can really choose. Based on the criteria, I am a Hobbit. Not surprised there. When you're only 4 ft 9in you come to expect it lol. But your class is entirely up to you and what you want to become. I chose assassin. Assassins are the type to look at the world as a giant playground. Think of Assassin's Creed. For a short time at the beginning of college I was skinny and I was climbing everything I came across. It was so much fun rediscovering how to climb trees, fences, and anything that I could pull myself up onto. When you weigh less that list of climbable things grows to an impressive length. I can't wait to get back to that.
Well, this post will be cut short due to my roommates insistence that I surrender the computer so we can watch Big Brother.
I really need to think of a cool thing to say at the end of my posts lol. Also, thank you to a certain red haired friend of mine. You're creative titles in your Let's Play videos has inspired me.
So what did I do. Thinking the right thoughts is only part of the battle. I can think all day but it really comes down to what am I going to do about it. I didn't let it stop with just thoughts this time. I took action. I found a little something online called Nerd Fitness. Being the gamer and nerd that I am, the whole concept of relating fitness to leveling up your life and turning life into a big video game really appealed to me. I took the step and signed up. I get daily emails full of useful information, encouragement, and quests. I have now completed several quests and I really like this whole system. I'm feeling hopeful about my health and fitness for the first time in a long time. I'm taking it one day at a time, one quest at a time. I actually did my first strength training workout yesterday. I'm really feeling it today. In my enthusiasm I overdid it. My muscles are so sore today that when I got to the bottom step of my stairs, I looked up and wondered how I was going to get to the top lol. Despite that, I'm not discouraged. I'm encouraged by my determination that caused me to overdo it. If I can push through a workout and accidentally do too much, it's not a stretch to believe that I can actually do this. I made a mistake, but now I'm better informed and therefore better prepared for next time.
Nerd Fitness, in the mission to turn life and especially fitness into a big video game, involves choosing your race and class, just like in an RPG. Okay, so race isn't something you can really choose. Based on the criteria, I am a Hobbit. Not surprised there. When you're only 4 ft 9in you come to expect it lol. But your class is entirely up to you and what you want to become. I chose assassin. Assassins are the type to look at the world as a giant playground. Think of Assassin's Creed. For a short time at the beginning of college I was skinny and I was climbing everything I came across. It was so much fun rediscovering how to climb trees, fences, and anything that I could pull myself up onto. When you weigh less that list of climbable things grows to an impressive length. I can't wait to get back to that.
Well, this post will be cut short due to my roommates insistence that I surrender the computer so we can watch Big Brother.
I really need to think of a cool thing to say at the end of my posts lol. Also, thank you to a certain red haired friend of mine. You're creative titles in your Let's Play videos has inspired me.
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