Benefits Of Being Short

I'll say it, I'm a midget. The definition of midget is just a person with proportionate dwarfism. Dwarfism is diagnosed by height alone (persons 4'10" and below). I am 4'9" and therefore have dwarfism. There are scholarships I can apply for with the Little People of America based on my height alone. I've been used as a walking armrest for most of my life. I run into people all the time who are nervous about mentioning my height or unsure about teasing we with short jokes. You know you're really short when people are unsure about teasing you about it.

I am not one bit sensitive about my height. It's actually a physical quality that I like about myself. My counselor once asked me to name 3 things I liked about myself. I guess it was a self esteem exercise. My height was the first thing I mentioned. I still remember the surprise I read in her eyes.

Many would call my height an obstacle to living a full life. I've even been told I can draw a check for it. Many people only see the drawbacks of being so short. Sure, I can't reach higher than the bottom shelves in my kitchen cupboards. I drive using only my toes because I can't reach the pedals with my whole foot. I can't see in crowds, ever. Pants and long sleeve shirts always go past my feet and hands. There's a whole world up there I can't see. But there's a whole world down here too and it's full of awesome benefits. In fact, I've collected quite a few over the years. So here's my Benefits of Being Short List:

1. You are less likely to be struck by lightning.

2. On hot summer days you can stand in tall people's shadows for shade.

3. When the sun is bright and angled just right to blind you, it's not hard to position yourself so something or someone taller than you is blocking the rays.

4. On cold, windy days tall people block the strong winds.

5. You can disappear easily in crowds if you need to.

6. You can always stretch out in cars and airplanes, no matter if you're sitting in the middle seat in a car or coach in a airplane.

7. You are less likely to be hit by random flying objects.

8. Your center of gravity is lower, giving you better balance.

9. If you do fall (less likely because of above point) you don't have as far to fall and, therefore, won't be as likely to be injured by your fall.

10. You can lie down in bathtubs.

11. You can always stretch out fully in a bed.

12. You don't have to worry about bumping your head on things.

13. Automatic advantage in Limbo.

14. You can pretend to be a child to avoid pushy floor salesmen.

15. You burn more calories walking the same distance as a tall person.

16. You can sleep better on a wider variety of couches.

17. You never hold the umbrella when you share with another person.

18. You don't have to bend over in the shower to wash your hair (I didn't know this was an issue for tall people).

19. You can wear capris as regular pants.

20. You can use throw blankets as regular blankets if need be.

21. Potential master at hide n seek.

22. You can swing upside down on a swing set without hitting your head on the ground.

23. You usually always have the element of surprise in sports because people tend to underestimate you.

24. You're the perfect height for forehead kisses.

25. You can ride the kiddy rides at amusement parks without being judged.

26. You spend less on body wash.

27. People are more likely to be merciful to you because you look like a child.

28. Small living spaces seem bigger to you.

29. You require less food to live, so you save on groceries.

30. Low ceilings don't affect you.

31. You can easily weave through crowds.

32. Some research says you're likely to live longer.

33. Shorter people are often less likely to get heart disease because our hearts have less blood to pump.

34. You can wear children's clothing and shoes.

35. You are less intimidating to children and therefore more likely to be accepted and befriended by them.

36. In winter, your coat covers more of you.

37. You can easily cosplay hobbits, oomp loompas, dwarves, the list goes on.

38. You can play on a playground without being judged.

39. In a fight more people root for you. Everybody loves an underdog.

40. Since you're child-sized, you draw out the natural protective instincts in people.

41. Displays created for children (think of the way Disney World or children's museums are designed) works for you too. You get to see it with all the wonder of a child because you still have the physical perspective of a child.

42. The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.....no, wait...number 42 is my favorite benefit to being short:

Shorter people have slightly faster reflexes, due to the decreased time it takes for neural impulses to travel to shorter limbs.

I am a Hobbit Ninja.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading!
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-Jerelle