Hello again! I have some news for my readers. This is my last blog post in Simply Loved. I will be continuing in a new blog call The Halfling Ninja. It can be found at thehalflingninja.BlogSpot.com. It's a continuation of Simply Loved as well as a fresh start. I'll be adding some new ideas and content, but I'll still post about my life and different experiences. It's basically Simply Loved with some extras. It's a good thing, trust me. Thank you for being my readers. I really appreciate you and I hope that you read my new blog. I already have my first post published: Introductions. I already have two drafts waiting to be published as well. I'm excited! I hope you like the additions.
Simply Loved continuing on The Halfling Ninja (address: thehalflingninja.blogspot.com)
Thanks for reading!
________________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Sunday, April 12, 2015
The Land of Peanut Butter
So I have trouble organizing my thoughts. There's so many things I want to write about, but organizing them and putting them into words is where I have trouble. So I thought I would take this week to write something that's already organized in my mind, a memory. I have lots of fun memories and this is definitely one of them!
I was about 6 years old. My sister was about 3 years old. It was summer and, I believe, a weekend. We grew up on a big farm surrounded by lots of family. One of my favorite things to do was explore. As is common, I had a disregard for some rules I was raised with. I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to wander so far, but I did. I left my sister playing in the yard and went on an adventure. I left the yard boundary and wandered into fields full of briars, long grass, flowers, and most likely snakes. I was barefoot. I went barefoot full time in the summer unless we went to town or church. The bottoms of my feet were tough and the briars barely registered. I walked and walked. I came across Papaw's tobacco fields and dirt trails beaten down by tractors and trucks. I followed one of these trails near a pretty gnarly sinkhole-like ditch, so deep that I could climb into it and not see over the ground from inside it. I didn't climb into the ditch...this time. Instead I followed the trail towards the river. I lived right next to the Cumberland River. I was always told to stay away from the river because I could fall in and drown. I didn't go to the river. I got sidetracked by the trail I was on. At some point it had rained and the water had flown down the trail towards the river, leaving the ground a funny texture. To my young mind it looked just like the Jif peanut butter my mom used to make her famous fudge. The ground had a spread peanut butter look to it. Oh course I had to step in it! The ground had dried pretty well and was just damp, but it was still really fun to walk on! I played for a while by myself and decided to name this newly discovered land: Peanut Butter Land. All of a sudden it was too awesome of a place for me to keep to myself. I had to tell someone!
You know where I'm going with this don't you?
I raced back over the fields and briars and whatnot, back to the yard. My sister was still happily playing with who knows what awesome toy from our youth. I ran over to her and told her I found a land made out of peanut butter. She loved peanut butter! I told her to come with me. She hesitated a little, but I used my magical older sister powers of persuasion (and no I did not grab her by the hair and drag her! I was nicer than that thank you very much!). I convinced her with my imagination and excitement. She decided to follow me. We made it to the edge of the yard and started into the long grassy, flowery, briary field. She put one foot down and started to cry. She had stepped on a briar. I managed to convince her to keep going. I coaxed her over the briars, through the long grass, pointing out pretty flowers to distract her. We were in the clear when we made it to the dirt track.
I introduced her to Peanut Butter Land like it was Disney World. It doesn't take billions of dollars and pixie dust to fill a child with wonder. Honestly, we were happy about mostly dried out mud. So I'm guessing imagination is key. I remember it felt funny on our bare toes and we left little foot prints here and there. We might have attempted to make a peanut butter castle but, honestly, with the consistency that I remember it wouldn't have held up.
I was clever and figured we needed to get back home soon before our parents started looking for us. I didn't want to get in trouble and I was pretty sure I wasn't allowed out so far without an adult. So we made our way back over. Of course we had to cross the briars again. I tried to teach my sister to walk softly and slowly. I was coaxing her and we had almost made it back when I heard Mom and Dad yelling for us. At the sight of Mom, my sister just broke down and cried. Mom was there and the briars were mean and she just wanted Mom. I picked her up and carried her the rest of the way. The added weight made the briars actually sting a bit on my feet. I set her down in our yard where our parents were and waited for it. I was sure I was in so much trouble. I was waiting for the switch or belt. But my parents were just happy that we were safe. They even told me they were proud of me for taking care of my little sister. I was shocked! I was the reason we had disappeared and I was getting praise instead of the beating of my life? What universe was this? But I wasn't about to complain!
I lived to adventure another day!
Thanks for reading!
_______________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
-Jerelle
The Hobbit Ninja
I was about 6 years old. My sister was about 3 years old. It was summer and, I believe, a weekend. We grew up on a big farm surrounded by lots of family. One of my favorite things to do was explore. As is common, I had a disregard for some rules I was raised with. I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to wander so far, but I did. I left my sister playing in the yard and went on an adventure. I left the yard boundary and wandered into fields full of briars, long grass, flowers, and most likely snakes. I was barefoot. I went barefoot full time in the summer unless we went to town or church. The bottoms of my feet were tough and the briars barely registered. I walked and walked. I came across Papaw's tobacco fields and dirt trails beaten down by tractors and trucks. I followed one of these trails near a pretty gnarly sinkhole-like ditch, so deep that I could climb into it and not see over the ground from inside it. I didn't climb into the ditch...this time. Instead I followed the trail towards the river. I lived right next to the Cumberland River. I was always told to stay away from the river because I could fall in and drown. I didn't go to the river. I got sidetracked by the trail I was on. At some point it had rained and the water had flown down the trail towards the river, leaving the ground a funny texture. To my young mind it looked just like the Jif peanut butter my mom used to make her famous fudge. The ground had a spread peanut butter look to it. Oh course I had to step in it! The ground had dried pretty well and was just damp, but it was still really fun to walk on! I played for a while by myself and decided to name this newly discovered land: Peanut Butter Land. All of a sudden it was too awesome of a place for me to keep to myself. I had to tell someone!
You know where I'm going with this don't you?
I raced back over the fields and briars and whatnot, back to the yard. My sister was still happily playing with who knows what awesome toy from our youth. I ran over to her and told her I found a land made out of peanut butter. She loved peanut butter! I told her to come with me. She hesitated a little, but I used my magical older sister powers of persuasion (and no I did not grab her by the hair and drag her! I was nicer than that thank you very much!). I convinced her with my imagination and excitement. She decided to follow me. We made it to the edge of the yard and started into the long grassy, flowery, briary field. She put one foot down and started to cry. She had stepped on a briar. I managed to convince her to keep going. I coaxed her over the briars, through the long grass, pointing out pretty flowers to distract her. We were in the clear when we made it to the dirt track.
I introduced her to Peanut Butter Land like it was Disney World. It doesn't take billions of dollars and pixie dust to fill a child with wonder. Honestly, we were happy about mostly dried out mud. So I'm guessing imagination is key. I remember it felt funny on our bare toes and we left little foot prints here and there. We might have attempted to make a peanut butter castle but, honestly, with the consistency that I remember it wouldn't have held up.
I was clever and figured we needed to get back home soon before our parents started looking for us. I didn't want to get in trouble and I was pretty sure I wasn't allowed out so far without an adult. So we made our way back over. Of course we had to cross the briars again. I tried to teach my sister to walk softly and slowly. I was coaxing her and we had almost made it back when I heard Mom and Dad yelling for us. At the sight of Mom, my sister just broke down and cried. Mom was there and the briars were mean and she just wanted Mom. I picked her up and carried her the rest of the way. The added weight made the briars actually sting a bit on my feet. I set her down in our yard where our parents were and waited for it. I was sure I was in so much trouble. I was waiting for the switch or belt. But my parents were just happy that we were safe. They even told me they were proud of me for taking care of my little sister. I was shocked! I was the reason we had disappeared and I was getting praise instead of the beating of my life? What universe was this? But I wasn't about to complain!
I lived to adventure another day!
Thanks for reading!
_______________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
-Jerelle
The Hobbit Ninja
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Small Wonders
I missed a post last week. I started to feel bad about that, especially when I noticed that people checked in to see if I'd written anything new and I hadn't. I felt like I let my readers down. But then a new thought popped into my head. "Oh my gosh! I'm following a routine so well that my readers have noticed!" I'm not great with sticking to a schedule and I've been trying to put out a blog post every week. I didn't notice until now how well I've been doing with that considering my lack of experience with consistency. So yay! It's a reason to be happy instead of be down on myself, and that alone is victory!
So I've had various ideas buzzing around in my head about what I should write about this week. I haven't had a lot of success. Nothing greatly huge has happened that can dominate a blog post. It's been all smaller things. Oh, just had a thought! I'll write about small things that fill me with wonder.
1. Thinking about how far a raindrop traveled to land on your face.
2. How speakers make sounds. It's been explained to me, but I'm still in awe.
3. How cats appear to be part liquid, they take on the shape of whatever container they fall asleep in.
4. How God plants the most beautiful wildflowers in the middle of the wilderness, just for someone to discover and enjoy.
5. How a person can cry when overflowing with either sorrow or joy.
6. The beauty of the smile and laugh of an elderly person.
7. The innocent, completely free imaginations of small children.
8. No matter how many times you see a sunrise or a sunset, it can still take your breath away every time.
9. How that person in front or behind you in the grocery line could be the most amazing person that you'll never know because most people don't talk to strangers.
10. Sitting with an older person and listening to the stories of what they've seen and lived through in their life, decades before you were born. It's more amazing than any history book because they were there when it happened.
11. How one ball and two scoring areas can fill a crowd with so much energy. For the duration of the game, we're all together in this one thing that's happening in the moment, united.
12. How reading a book can transport you into another world, someone else's world that they live or that they made up in their heads. When reading, the writer takes you on a journey to what's in their mind. Something that only they could come up with.
13. How we all have hands but we all can't do the same things with them. One person can paint a masterpiece with them. Another can build an amazing machine. Still another can sooth and heal people with them. Another can play the most beautiful music. Someone else can write the most fantastic story. Yet another can lift an ungodly amount of weight. Another can do things with a sports ball most of us can only dream of doing. Others can scale buildings. The list is neverending and ever varied.
14. How some amazing people are famous and other amazing people aren't and the difference is only that most people know how amazing the famous person is.
15. How amazing it is that thousands of gallons of water can float above our heads as fluffy clouds that look no more threatening than pillows.
16. At the very moment that you're watching a sunset with so much awe, someone else is watching a sunrise with the same amount of awe.
17. How a smile can completely transform a face.
18. How we call laugh and cry in the same language.
19. How we all at some time or other have tried to come across as a person with no scars, when we all have scars.
20. How the birth of a baby is a miracle, and it's happening every moment of every day.
21. How billions and billions of people have lived on this earth, and no two have been exactly alike.
22. How we all have fears, no matter how much we try to hide it.
23. How we all make mistakes, but still judge one other's mistakes so harshly.
24. How God made two genders that are so alike and so different and fit together so wonderfully that it's a wonder we haven't killed each other.
25. How we all dream of flying.
Thanks for reading! And thank you for checking in even when I missed a week!
_________________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
Jerelle
The Hobbit Ninja
So I've had various ideas buzzing around in my head about what I should write about this week. I haven't had a lot of success. Nothing greatly huge has happened that can dominate a blog post. It's been all smaller things. Oh, just had a thought! I'll write about small things that fill me with wonder.
1. Thinking about how far a raindrop traveled to land on your face.
2. How speakers make sounds. It's been explained to me, but I'm still in awe.
3. How cats appear to be part liquid, they take on the shape of whatever container they fall asleep in.
4. How God plants the most beautiful wildflowers in the middle of the wilderness, just for someone to discover and enjoy.
5. How a person can cry when overflowing with either sorrow or joy.
6. The beauty of the smile and laugh of an elderly person.
7. The innocent, completely free imaginations of small children.
8. No matter how many times you see a sunrise or a sunset, it can still take your breath away every time.
9. How that person in front or behind you in the grocery line could be the most amazing person that you'll never know because most people don't talk to strangers.
10. Sitting with an older person and listening to the stories of what they've seen and lived through in their life, decades before you were born. It's more amazing than any history book because they were there when it happened.
11. How one ball and two scoring areas can fill a crowd with so much energy. For the duration of the game, we're all together in this one thing that's happening in the moment, united.
12. How reading a book can transport you into another world, someone else's world that they live or that they made up in their heads. When reading, the writer takes you on a journey to what's in their mind. Something that only they could come up with.
13. How we all have hands but we all can't do the same things with them. One person can paint a masterpiece with them. Another can build an amazing machine. Still another can sooth and heal people with them. Another can play the most beautiful music. Someone else can write the most fantastic story. Yet another can lift an ungodly amount of weight. Another can do things with a sports ball most of us can only dream of doing. Others can scale buildings. The list is neverending and ever varied.
14. How some amazing people are famous and other amazing people aren't and the difference is only that most people know how amazing the famous person is.
15. How amazing it is that thousands of gallons of water can float above our heads as fluffy clouds that look no more threatening than pillows.
16. At the very moment that you're watching a sunset with so much awe, someone else is watching a sunrise with the same amount of awe.
17. How a smile can completely transform a face.
18. How we call laugh and cry in the same language.
19. How we all at some time or other have tried to come across as a person with no scars, when we all have scars.
20. How the birth of a baby is a miracle, and it's happening every moment of every day.
21. How billions and billions of people have lived on this earth, and no two have been exactly alike.
22. How we all have fears, no matter how much we try to hide it.
23. How we all make mistakes, but still judge one other's mistakes so harshly.
24. How God made two genders that are so alike and so different and fit together so wonderfully that it's a wonder we haven't killed each other.
25. How we all dream of flying.
Thanks for reading! And thank you for checking in even when I missed a week!
_________________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
Jerelle
The Hobbit Ninja
Sunday, March 8, 2015
The Best Birthday
A week has gone by since my birthday, but the weekend of my birthday was crammed with so much amazingness that there was no time to fit it into my usual weekend post. Actually, I didn't manage to publish that weekend's post until a few days later and it was just something small so there wouldn't been a gap in posts.
My roommates went all out. It's our friend tradition to keep everything secret and surprise each other with fun themed birthdays. I couldn't have prepared myself for this one. I awoke on the morning of my birthday to an apartment completely decked out in brightly colored messages. Each message had a truth about me and the person who said it. When I say completely decked out I mean they were all over my bedroom, the hallway, my bathroom mirror, the kitchen, the dining room, and the living room. My roommates had gotten a hold of a lot of people and asked them to fill in the blank for Jerelle is ________. They got answers from friends, my boyfriend, my church life group, my serving team at church, and my parents and siblings. I was completely blown away and each thing I read hit me right in the heart.
With the truths alone, it was the best birthday ever. But there was more! There was blue birthday cake. You didn't read that wrong. Blue, very blue birthday cake with strawberry icing (pink and blue, so fun!) and very colorful ice cream (it was a very colorful birthday all around).
Monthly Music Mixup on TSCN.TV
TSCN Review of Kingsmen: The Secret Service
It was a birthday I will treasure forever and never forget. I was surrounded by truth, friends, fun, and the one I love. My heart was overflowing with truth and love from so many people that I care so deeply about. I couldn't ask for more. It was a birthday that changed more than just my age and I am so thankful that I have people in my life that want me to know who I am and how much I'm loved.
Thanks for reading!
________________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
-Jerelle
aka TheHobbitNinja
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Something Random
I didn't publish a new post last Saturday so I thought I would do something small. I made up this story randomly for my youngest sister, just to make her smile. When she was younger she used to ask me to tell her stories. I told random stories and I just loved making her laugh. Now that she's on Facebook I can make up stories for her anytime. The story below is the first story I've written to her.
There was once a blade of grass. He dreamed of
growing long and tall, taller than all the other blades of grass. He
longed to see the world around him and do great things. Each day he
worked hard to grow and grow. Before he knew it he towered above the
rest of his friends and family. He could see for whole inches, perhaps
even a whole foot! But still he dreamed bigger. "I want to see 3 feet! A
whole yard!" So each day the sun would rise and each day he grew a
little taller, bit by bit. He was the first to see the lawnmower.
That's all for now! Thanks for reading!
________________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
-Jerelle
That's all for now! Thanks for reading!
________________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
-Jerelle
Saturday, February 21, 2015
One Food, Two Food, Red Food.....Blue Food???
So about 8 years ago I got into a funny, fake argument with my boyfriend about the existence of blue food. We were sitting at our usual table in the cafeteria with our friends and I remember him making the statement that there is no such thing as blue food. Well, this got the wheels in my mind turning warp speed. I went for the obvious first answer: blue M&M's. That didn't meet the criteria. He was talking about naturally blue food. I went for the next obvious answer: blue berries. Nope, they're purple. I couldn't argue with that. So I resolved to find a naturally blue food to prove him wrong. This is how it all started.
I didn't have good access to the internet back then. That would have made my quest easier. I had to do it the old fashioned way and ask family members. I finally hit some success with my mom. She was surprised at my question because, as she reminded me, we had grown some blue food in the garden behind her house before. She had called it our toy garden because we didn't plant anything useful that year. No vegetables to put on the table really, just fun things. We planted pumpkins, baby pumpkins, Indian corn, Red corn, and.....here it is......Blue corn!
If I'm remembering correctly it was a type of popcorn that we could actually put in the microwave and pop! Armed with this information I strolled up to my boyfriend confidently and declared that I had proven him wrong. I told him about blue corn and he was surprised. He had never heard of it and he admitted defeat.
That should have been enough right?
I have discovered something. I never let it go. Some time after that he and I broke up (unrelated to blue food, obviously). Prom happened. Graduation happened. College happened. I never forgot. Every time I came across information or pictures of naturally blue food I took note. He and I weren't even talking anymore at that point, but I still took note. I never let it go lol. Now, so many years later we are back together and the subject came up again. He's not arguing with me about it but I still feel like I have a point to prove. It may be silly, but being silly is fun. So here are some of my top finds for blue food! I've followed the criteria of naturally blue food that isn't mislabeled purple food. The blue corn is a bit dark and grayish.
No. 1: The Larch
Just kidding!
Exhibit A: Blue Marble Tree Fruit
Exhibit B: Blue Crawdad
Yes, people eat them. One family reunion we took everybody out to the creek and caught bucketfuls of the little guys. They may not still be blue after cooking, but cooking is just a suggestion right?
Exhibit C: Blue Potato Chips
They are made from blue potatoes, which are a bit purple. But the chips seem to be more in the blue camp. It can be argued that they look purple. At this shade it becomes a matter of opinion. I checked and there are no added colors. The color is all natural.
Exhibit D: Oregon Grapes
Who said all grapes are purple?
Exhibit E: Decaisnea Fargesii Fruit
Exhibit F: The Indigo Milkcap
Exhibit G: The Blue Quandong
Exhibit H: Lingcod Fish
It's flesh is blue and changes color when cooked, but humans eat raw fish all the time.
So that's it! That's my top finds for blue food! Thanks for reading!
_____________________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
-Jerelle
*I don't own any of these images. They were all found using Google images.
I didn't have good access to the internet back then. That would have made my quest easier. I had to do it the old fashioned way and ask family members. I finally hit some success with my mom. She was surprised at my question because, as she reminded me, we had grown some blue food in the garden behind her house before. She had called it our toy garden because we didn't plant anything useful that year. No vegetables to put on the table really, just fun things. We planted pumpkins, baby pumpkins, Indian corn, Red corn, and.....here it is......Blue corn!
If I'm remembering correctly it was a type of popcorn that we could actually put in the microwave and pop! Armed with this information I strolled up to my boyfriend confidently and declared that I had proven him wrong. I told him about blue corn and he was surprised. He had never heard of it and he admitted defeat.
That should have been enough right?
I have discovered something. I never let it go. Some time after that he and I broke up (unrelated to blue food, obviously). Prom happened. Graduation happened. College happened. I never forgot. Every time I came across information or pictures of naturally blue food I took note. He and I weren't even talking anymore at that point, but I still took note. I never let it go lol. Now, so many years later we are back together and the subject came up again. He's not arguing with me about it but I still feel like I have a point to prove. It may be silly, but being silly is fun. So here are some of my top finds for blue food! I've followed the criteria of naturally blue food that isn't mislabeled purple food. The blue corn is a bit dark and grayish.
No. 1: The Larch
Just kidding!
Exhibit A: Blue Marble Tree Fruit
Exhibit B: Blue Crawdad
Yes, people eat them. One family reunion we took everybody out to the creek and caught bucketfuls of the little guys. They may not still be blue after cooking, but cooking is just a suggestion right?
Exhibit C: Blue Potato Chips
Exhibit D: Oregon Grapes
Exhibit E: Decaisnea Fargesii Fruit
Exhibit F: The Indigo Milkcap
Exhibit G: The Blue Quandong
Exhibit H: Lingcod Fish
So that's it! That's my top finds for blue food! Thanks for reading!
_____________________________
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
-Jerelle
*I don't own any of these images. They were all found using Google images.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Ninja Training Update
Between a simply insane weekend last weekend and being sick this weekend I have nothing in reserve to publish this week. I had gotten into a good schedule of having my posts written a week in advance. It was glorious, but now I'm finding myself playing catch up. I was scrambling to figure out what to write about when it hit me. I haven't given an Assassin/Ninja Training Update in quite a while. I actually have a lot to update on that!
Due to a very unexpected and drawn out process of injuring both my hands and waiting for them to heal properly, I haven't been doing any exercises. It has been a big lesson in patience, taking care of myself, and respecting my personal limits. Really what happened was I had a previous injury in my left hand that had healed back wrong. While that hand was reinjured so it could heal back the right way, I managed to overcompensate for it with my right hand. As a result I injured my right hand in just the same way my left hand was injured. I was so angry with myself. I had to take a long break from video games. My fine motor skills were laughable. I felt like I had unskilled clubs on the ends of my arms instead of hands. I had to ask the boys for help at work with the heavy stuff and I couldn't drive either of the trucks because that required me having to literally climb into the truck cab, which put too much strain on my hands. It has been rough but I've learned a valuable lesson and I don't plan on making that mistake again.
I have continued my plan of keeping water as my main drink. I actually counted up the time since I stopped drinking pop and I was shocked. I stopped drinking pop around 5 months ago! The crazy thing is I don't miss it. Both of my roommates still regularly drink it and I am not even tempted. I look at it and don't see it as appetizing at all. Drinking water makes me feel amazing! It's like I feel cleaner on the inside. I have more energy and that sluggish, blah feeling is gone.
On top of continuing to drink water, I have added a number of things. I now have an accountability partner. This have been so helpful. Sometimes you just don't feel like doing the work and you're okay with letting yourself down. But letting someone else down is a different matter. The accountability has majorly helped in building habits. You get used to doing healthy things and before you know it, you've created a good habit. Right now I'm just going over basic things. Most of my life I have done a horrible job at taking care of myself. My basic check in things with my partner are: Eating 3 meals a day, drinking 50 oz of water, getting at least 7 hours of sleep, not stressing my injured hands, and keeping my room organized. That last one sounds really random, but it's amazing how much having a clean and organized room helps with my mental health. Visual noise and clutter don't help anxiety.
The accountability is set up in report form. I write out daily reports. Honestly, just recording my daily progress is helpful and keeps me aware of my daily choices. I report on the items I listed above, as well as adding how I felt that day and what my big picture circumstances were that day. It gives some helpful context. As someone with an anxiety disorder, recording the big picture circumstances of my day helps me see patterns, identify triggers, and just be more aware of how stressors affect my health. I've learned so much about myself and my health through this process!
As far as results go, I don't own a scale so I can't give an actual weight loss amount. I can say that I need a new belt. I started out only being able to reach the first hole on my current belt. Now I am on the farthest hole and still shrinking. I have gone down a shirt size and two jeans sizes. I have learned how important taking care of myself physically is to my mental health. The two cannot be separated. Just working on physical health greatly improves my mental health. With better mental health I'm better equipped to make healthy decisions. It's become an awesome upward spiral. That's a real thing!
If you have PTSD, some other anxiety disorder, or any mental disorder try making healthy decisions for your body. I know. I rolled my eyes at that advice so many times in the past. But now that I'm actually doing it and reaping the benefits, I must say it is definitely worth it! It really works! Just start small. Do you eat 3 meals a day? Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep? Wherever you find yourself there's a small step you can take towards better health. Don't try to do it all at once. That rarely ever works. Have patience and grace for yourself. Find one thing you can stick with and do it daily. Finding an accountability partner really helps too. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and don't give up when you fall down. Just get back up. There are no penalties for falling unless you don't get back up.
That's all I have for now. Thanks for reading!
_____________________________________
This space intentionally left blank
-Jerelle
Due to a very unexpected and drawn out process of injuring both my hands and waiting for them to heal properly, I haven't been doing any exercises. It has been a big lesson in patience, taking care of myself, and respecting my personal limits. Really what happened was I had a previous injury in my left hand that had healed back wrong. While that hand was reinjured so it could heal back the right way, I managed to overcompensate for it with my right hand. As a result I injured my right hand in just the same way my left hand was injured. I was so angry with myself. I had to take a long break from video games. My fine motor skills were laughable. I felt like I had unskilled clubs on the ends of my arms instead of hands. I had to ask the boys for help at work with the heavy stuff and I couldn't drive either of the trucks because that required me having to literally climb into the truck cab, which put too much strain on my hands. It has been rough but I've learned a valuable lesson and I don't plan on making that mistake again.
I have continued my plan of keeping water as my main drink. I actually counted up the time since I stopped drinking pop and I was shocked. I stopped drinking pop around 5 months ago! The crazy thing is I don't miss it. Both of my roommates still regularly drink it and I am not even tempted. I look at it and don't see it as appetizing at all. Drinking water makes me feel amazing! It's like I feel cleaner on the inside. I have more energy and that sluggish, blah feeling is gone.
On top of continuing to drink water, I have added a number of things. I now have an accountability partner. This have been so helpful. Sometimes you just don't feel like doing the work and you're okay with letting yourself down. But letting someone else down is a different matter. The accountability has majorly helped in building habits. You get used to doing healthy things and before you know it, you've created a good habit. Right now I'm just going over basic things. Most of my life I have done a horrible job at taking care of myself. My basic check in things with my partner are: Eating 3 meals a day, drinking 50 oz of water, getting at least 7 hours of sleep, not stressing my injured hands, and keeping my room organized. That last one sounds really random, but it's amazing how much having a clean and organized room helps with my mental health. Visual noise and clutter don't help anxiety.
The accountability is set up in report form. I write out daily reports. Honestly, just recording my daily progress is helpful and keeps me aware of my daily choices. I report on the items I listed above, as well as adding how I felt that day and what my big picture circumstances were that day. It gives some helpful context. As someone with an anxiety disorder, recording the big picture circumstances of my day helps me see patterns, identify triggers, and just be more aware of how stressors affect my health. I've learned so much about myself and my health through this process!
As far as results go, I don't own a scale so I can't give an actual weight loss amount. I can say that I need a new belt. I started out only being able to reach the first hole on my current belt. Now I am on the farthest hole and still shrinking. I have gone down a shirt size and two jeans sizes. I have learned how important taking care of myself physically is to my mental health. The two cannot be separated. Just working on physical health greatly improves my mental health. With better mental health I'm better equipped to make healthy decisions. It's become an awesome upward spiral. That's a real thing!
If you have PTSD, some other anxiety disorder, or any mental disorder try making healthy decisions for your body. I know. I rolled my eyes at that advice so many times in the past. But now that I'm actually doing it and reaping the benefits, I must say it is definitely worth it! It really works! Just start small. Do you eat 3 meals a day? Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep? Wherever you find yourself there's a small step you can take towards better health. Don't try to do it all at once. That rarely ever works. Have patience and grace for yourself. Find one thing you can stick with and do it daily. Finding an accountability partner really helps too. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and don't give up when you fall down. Just get back up. There are no penalties for falling unless you don't get back up.
That's all I have for now. Thanks for reading!
_____________________________________
This space intentionally left blank
-Jerelle
Monday, February 2, 2015
Benefits Of Being Short
I'll say it, I'm a midget. The definition of midget is just a person with proportionate dwarfism. Dwarfism is diagnosed by height alone (persons 4'10" and below). I am 4'9" and therefore have dwarfism. There are scholarships I can apply for with the Little People of America based on my height alone. I've been used as a walking armrest for most of my life. I run into people all the time who are nervous about mentioning my height or unsure about teasing we with short jokes. You know you're really short when people are unsure about teasing you about it.
I am not one bit sensitive about my height. It's actually a physical quality that I like about myself. My counselor once asked me to name 3 things I liked about myself. I guess it was a self esteem exercise. My height was the first thing I mentioned. I still remember the surprise I read in her eyes.
Many would call my height an obstacle to living a full life. I've even been told I can draw a check for it. Many people only see the drawbacks of being so short. Sure, I can't reach higher than the bottom shelves in my kitchen cupboards. I drive using only my toes because I can't reach the pedals with my whole foot. I can't see in crowds, ever. Pants and long sleeve shirts always go past my feet and hands. There's a whole world up there I can't see. But there's a whole world down here too and it's full of awesome benefits. In fact, I've collected quite a few over the years. So here's my Benefits of Being Short List:
1. You are less likely to be struck by lightning.
2. On hot summer days you can stand in tall people's shadows for shade.
3. When the sun is bright and angled just right to blind you, it's not hard to position yourself so something or someone taller than you is blocking the rays.
4. On cold, windy days tall people block the strong winds.
5. You can disappear easily in crowds if you need to.
6. You can always stretch out in cars and airplanes, no matter if you're sitting in the middle seat in a car or coach in a airplane.
7. You are less likely to be hit by random flying objects.
8. Your center of gravity is lower, giving you better balance.
9. If you do fall (less likely because of above point) you don't have as far to fall and, therefore, won't be as likely to be injured by your fall.
10. You can lie down in bathtubs.
11. You can always stretch out fully in a bed.
12. You don't have to worry about bumping your head on things.
13. Automatic advantage in Limbo.
14. You can pretend to be a child to avoid pushy floor salesmen.
15. You burn more calories walking the same distance as a tall person.
16. You can sleep better on a wider variety of couches.
17. You never hold the umbrella when you share with another person.
18. You don't have to bend over in the shower to wash your hair (I didn't know this was an issue for tall people).
19. You can wear capris as regular pants.
20. You can use throw blankets as regular blankets if need be.
21. Potential master at hide n seek.
22. You can swing upside down on a swing set without hitting your head on the ground.
23. You usually always have the element of surprise in sports because people tend to underestimate you.
24. You're the perfect height for forehead kisses.
25. You can ride the kiddy rides at amusement parks without being judged.
26. You spend less on body wash.
27. People are more likely to be merciful to you because you look like a child.
28. Small living spaces seem bigger to you.
29. You require less food to live, so you save on groceries.
30. Low ceilings don't affect you.
31. You can easily weave through crowds.
32. Some research says you're likely to live longer.
33. Shorter people are often less likely to get heart disease because our hearts have less blood to pump.
34. You can wear children's clothing and shoes.
35. You are less intimidating to children and therefore more likely to be accepted and befriended by them.
36. In winter, your coat covers more of you.
37. You can easily cosplay hobbits, oomp loompas, dwarves, the list goes on.
38. You can play on a playground without being judged.
39. In a fight more people root for you. Everybody loves an underdog.
40. Since you're child-sized, you draw out the natural protective instincts in people.
41. Displays created for children (think of the way Disney World or children's museums are designed) works for you too. You get to see it with all the wonder of a child because you still have the physical perspective of a child.
42. The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.....no, wait...number 42 is my favorite benefit to being short:
Shorter people have slightly faster reflexes, due to the decreased time it takes for neural impulses to travel to shorter limbs.
I am not one bit sensitive about my height. It's actually a physical quality that I like about myself. My counselor once asked me to name 3 things I liked about myself. I guess it was a self esteem exercise. My height was the first thing I mentioned. I still remember the surprise I read in her eyes.
Many would call my height an obstacle to living a full life. I've even been told I can draw a check for it. Many people only see the drawbacks of being so short. Sure, I can't reach higher than the bottom shelves in my kitchen cupboards. I drive using only my toes because I can't reach the pedals with my whole foot. I can't see in crowds, ever. Pants and long sleeve shirts always go past my feet and hands. There's a whole world up there I can't see. But there's a whole world down here too and it's full of awesome benefits. In fact, I've collected quite a few over the years. So here's my Benefits of Being Short List:
1. You are less likely to be struck by lightning.
2. On hot summer days you can stand in tall people's shadows for shade.
3. When the sun is bright and angled just right to blind you, it's not hard to position yourself so something or someone taller than you is blocking the rays.
4. On cold, windy days tall people block the strong winds.
5. You can disappear easily in crowds if you need to.
6. You can always stretch out in cars and airplanes, no matter if you're sitting in the middle seat in a car or coach in a airplane.
7. You are less likely to be hit by random flying objects.
8. Your center of gravity is lower, giving you better balance.
9. If you do fall (less likely because of above point) you don't have as far to fall and, therefore, won't be as likely to be injured by your fall.
10. You can lie down in bathtubs.
11. You can always stretch out fully in a bed.
12. You don't have to worry about bumping your head on things.
13. Automatic advantage in Limbo.
14. You can pretend to be a child to avoid pushy floor salesmen.
15. You burn more calories walking the same distance as a tall person.
16. You can sleep better on a wider variety of couches.
17. You never hold the umbrella when you share with another person.
18. You don't have to bend over in the shower to wash your hair (I didn't know this was an issue for tall people).
19. You can wear capris as regular pants.
20. You can use throw blankets as regular blankets if need be.
21. Potential master at hide n seek.
22. You can swing upside down on a swing set without hitting your head on the ground.
23. You usually always have the element of surprise in sports because people tend to underestimate you.
24. You're the perfect height for forehead kisses.
25. You can ride the kiddy rides at amusement parks without being judged.
26. You spend less on body wash.
27. People are more likely to be merciful to you because you look like a child.
28. Small living spaces seem bigger to you.
29. You require less food to live, so you save on groceries.
30. Low ceilings don't affect you.
31. You can easily weave through crowds.
32. Some research says you're likely to live longer.
33. Shorter people are often less likely to get heart disease because our hearts have less blood to pump.
34. You can wear children's clothing and shoes.
35. You are less intimidating to children and therefore more likely to be accepted and befriended by them.
36. In winter, your coat covers more of you.
37. You can easily cosplay hobbits, oomp loompas, dwarves, the list goes on.
38. You can play on a playground without being judged.
39. In a fight more people root for you. Everybody loves an underdog.
40. Since you're child-sized, you draw out the natural protective instincts in people.
41. Displays created for children (think of the way Disney World or children's museums are designed) works for you too. You get to see it with all the wonder of a child because you still have the physical perspective of a child.
42. The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.....no, wait...number 42 is my favorite benefit to being short:
Shorter people have slightly faster reflexes, due to the decreased time it takes for neural impulses to travel to shorter limbs.
I am a Hobbit Ninja.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading!
________________________________.
________________________________.
This space intentionally left blank.
-Jerelle
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Little Me In The Auto Industry
It's funny the way God works sometimes. I've said before that I have PTSD. Because of my disorder I have had a lot of trouble feeling safe around men. I used to be completely terrified of men. I couldn't trust them or relax around them. Now I find myself working with 95% men. Where am I working, you might ask. I am working in the auto industry. I never saw that one coming. I've been curious and interested but I never saw it actually happening. I studied psychology and religion in college. My family hoped for me to go into the medical field and I thought I was going into the mental health field. Now cars lol. God works in mysterious and amazing ways.
I must say, with my PTSD you would think that my days would be filled with anxiety with so many men around. But the opposite has happened. I get so many safe vibes from so many men! It's really encouraging to feel safe around men. I've missed having male presence in my life. For so many years I've avoided men and surrounded myself with women. But there's something that only men can bring to the table. There's a strength there that's different from the strength of a woman and human beings need both of those strengths. I know God is using this to heal me and I'm very encouraged by this progress.
This job has also been great for my confidence in general. When I first started working I was quiet and nervous, slow to trust people. I was very nervous driving the company cars. I'm an auto parts delivery driver. It took a little bit to adjust to the relaxed atmosphere (soooo different from retail!). I also steadily started to gain confidence behind the wheel. Driving is something I knew I could do. However, I live in a city and traffic up here is a constant challenge and often a death trap. I was unfamiliar with the section of the city that I driving in. It was also December and I believe I've already stated that December is my hardest month with anxiety. Also, it's company policy for delivery drivers to back into parking spaces. I swore off driving in reverse unless absolutely necessary when I moved to the city. I could do it and do it well in the countryside where I'm from, but the city was a whole different ball game.
Fast forward to January. I'm relaxed in the crazy traffic that I encounter nearly every day. It does nothing to my anxiety level. I'm learning the layout of the city. My mental map is constantly being updated. This road over here somehow connects to this area of town that I'm familiar with and this shortcut will get me to the interstate the fastest. This updating knowledge, by itself, is a huge confidence booster. I know where I am and where I'm going, most of the time anyway. The practice with backing into parking spaces is showing amazing results. I've gotten some of my old confidence back. It's different in the city, but the muscle memory is coming back. But that's not the best part!
One day I clocked in at work and checked the key drawer. We have several company cars and several drivers. All the keys for the cars were taken. What was left? A key for the truck. I had never driven a truck in my entire life. I wasn't even sure I could reach the pedals and see over the steering wheel at the same time. I'm a staggering 4 ft 9in tall. My manager laughed and told me to take it for a spin and see how I do. So I did. It's funny the things you discover about yourself. I'm a natural at driving a truck! I got into that truck and drove it easier and better than I drive my own car! It was fun too! Trucks lift you up off the road a bit more and I could see everything! A few days later, I found myself driving the big truck. Not the small truck, the big truck. We're talking a Ford F150 XL. I literally have to climb into the cab. My feet don't reach the floor when I drive. But I can drive it and drive it well! I'll admit, my first time in the big truck I did let out an evil laugh when I pulled out for the first time. You feel powerful driving something that big. Feeling powerful is something I'm not used to feeling, so it put a big smile on my face. I felt so confident!
That's all for now! Thank you for reading, and until next time __________________________.
This space intentionally left blank
-Jerelle
I must say, with my PTSD you would think that my days would be filled with anxiety with so many men around. But the opposite has happened. I get so many safe vibes from so many men! It's really encouraging to feel safe around men. I've missed having male presence in my life. For so many years I've avoided men and surrounded myself with women. But there's something that only men can bring to the table. There's a strength there that's different from the strength of a woman and human beings need both of those strengths. I know God is using this to heal me and I'm very encouraged by this progress.
This job has also been great for my confidence in general. When I first started working I was quiet and nervous, slow to trust people. I was very nervous driving the company cars. I'm an auto parts delivery driver. It took a little bit to adjust to the relaxed atmosphere (soooo different from retail!). I also steadily started to gain confidence behind the wheel. Driving is something I knew I could do. However, I live in a city and traffic up here is a constant challenge and often a death trap. I was unfamiliar with the section of the city that I driving in. It was also December and I believe I've already stated that December is my hardest month with anxiety. Also, it's company policy for delivery drivers to back into parking spaces. I swore off driving in reverse unless absolutely necessary when I moved to the city. I could do it and do it well in the countryside where I'm from, but the city was a whole different ball game.
Fast forward to January. I'm relaxed in the crazy traffic that I encounter nearly every day. It does nothing to my anxiety level. I'm learning the layout of the city. My mental map is constantly being updated. This road over here somehow connects to this area of town that I'm familiar with and this shortcut will get me to the interstate the fastest. This updating knowledge, by itself, is a huge confidence booster. I know where I am and where I'm going, most of the time anyway. The practice with backing into parking spaces is showing amazing results. I've gotten some of my old confidence back. It's different in the city, but the muscle memory is coming back. But that's not the best part!
One day I clocked in at work and checked the key drawer. We have several company cars and several drivers. All the keys for the cars were taken. What was left? A key for the truck. I had never driven a truck in my entire life. I wasn't even sure I could reach the pedals and see over the steering wheel at the same time. I'm a staggering 4 ft 9in tall. My manager laughed and told me to take it for a spin and see how I do. So I did. It's funny the things you discover about yourself. I'm a natural at driving a truck! I got into that truck and drove it easier and better than I drive my own car! It was fun too! Trucks lift you up off the road a bit more and I could see everything! A few days later, I found myself driving the big truck. Not the small truck, the big truck. We're talking a Ford F150 XL. I literally have to climb into the cab. My feet don't reach the floor when I drive. But I can drive it and drive it well! I'll admit, my first time in the big truck I did let out an evil laugh when I pulled out for the first time. You feel powerful driving something that big. Feeling powerful is something I'm not used to feeling, so it put a big smile on my face. I felt so confident!
That's all for now! Thank you for reading, and until next time __________________________.
This space intentionally left blank
-Jerelle
Saturday, January 17, 2015
January Presents: Duck Lake
Forget Swan Lake, though it is graceful and full of talent. I had the pleasure of stumbling across a performance today that delighted and brought out the child in even the grumpiest and heaviest of hearts. One look and I couldn't help but smile. In fact, I couldn't keep that smile off my face. I was spending some time in one of my safe places in the city today. The day was full of errands, but when I find myself near this safe place I try to always visit and just take in the calm atmosphere. It's grounding and floods me with a sense of safety. But today Jesus had a surprise for me.
I looked out the big glass windows of my safe place (an indoor fountain in a bookstore) and caught sight of the pond outside. In warm months I often go outside to watch the ducks. There are little pellet dispensers near the water and families with small children frequent the place. Today the water had transformed into a solid mass of ice. I've been told my whole life that birds fly south for the winter, but the ducks were still there. They were ice skating on the pond! Well, more like slipping and sliding. It was so adorable! Little kids were throwing pellets and bits of bread to the ducks and the scramble for the food on the ice was so cute. Often wild animals are viewed as majestic, but just for a moment imagine a duck slipping backwards and falling on its behind.
After some observation I noticed that one duck in particular had discovered how to efficiently travel on the ice. I am not kidding, this duck was actually, legitimately skating. Whereas the other ducks were running and stumbling, slipping and sliding, he was calculated and graceful. I was inspired. Honestly, if I'd had the equipment I would have shot a video. Sometimes I'm a bit upset with myself that I've let shyness keep me from getting into podcasting and making videos. There are so many little moments that kindle that desire in me. I've had moments when I've pulled out a camera and hit record. Then I wrestle forever with the idea of uploading it online. I've been making progress with that lately, but I haven't gone public or really told anyone about it yet. Spoilers.
On a side note, just for fun. It makes me really happy that in the music video for Fifth Harmony's song, Sledgehammer, they have a man dancing with a sledgehammer!
That's all I have for this time! Thanks for reading!
I looked out the big glass windows of my safe place (an indoor fountain in a bookstore) and caught sight of the pond outside. In warm months I often go outside to watch the ducks. There are little pellet dispensers near the water and families with small children frequent the place. Today the water had transformed into a solid mass of ice. I've been told my whole life that birds fly south for the winter, but the ducks were still there. They were ice skating on the pond! Well, more like slipping and sliding. It was so adorable! Little kids were throwing pellets and bits of bread to the ducks and the scramble for the food on the ice was so cute. Often wild animals are viewed as majestic, but just for a moment imagine a duck slipping backwards and falling on its behind.
After some observation I noticed that one duck in particular had discovered how to efficiently travel on the ice. I am not kidding, this duck was actually, legitimately skating. Whereas the other ducks were running and stumbling, slipping and sliding, he was calculated and graceful. I was inspired. Honestly, if I'd had the equipment I would have shot a video. Sometimes I'm a bit upset with myself that I've let shyness keep me from getting into podcasting and making videos. There are so many little moments that kindle that desire in me. I've had moments when I've pulled out a camera and hit record. Then I wrestle forever with the idea of uploading it online. I've been making progress with that lately, but I haven't gone public or really told anyone about it yet. Spoilers.
On a side note, just for fun. It makes me really happy that in the music video for Fifth Harmony's song, Sledgehammer, they have a man dancing with a sledgehammer!
That's all I have for this time! Thanks for reading!
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